Lately, I have been coming across a certain feminine trait and error which, I had thought, must have long since become a thing of the past. But no.

As is well known, a woman’s instincts tend towards seeking out a man who is the best representative of his kind — meaning, one who is attractive to many other women. In this way, the attention shown to a man by other women is perceived as a confirmation of his value, and arouses additional interest in him.

Under the influence of this instinct, many women assume that the same logic applies in reverse — that is, if a man sees other men taking an interest in a particular woman, this supposedly increases her value in his eyes. In order to provoke such external interest, some women will even go so far as to flirt with other men in the presence of the one she is “playing the game” for.

The problem is that with men, the effect is quite the opposite. Flirting with another man is seen as (a) a stark and demonstrative sign of disrespect and (b) a signal of the woman’s frivolity, and of likely infidelity within a future relationship. This is perhaps the surest way to instantly destroy a man’s desire to build anything deep or meaningful with you. A man who observes such flirting will either walk away from you altogether, or will reclassify you as a partner suitable only for casual amusement.

Bear this dynamic in mind, and keep your attention and respect focused on the man with whom you are in company and building a connection. Moreover, if you notice someone else flirting with you, ignore it and concentrate on the man you have chosen and are presently with.